I haven’t known really how to share this because well it’s not easy to share. This purpose (Metanoia Mama and The Mumma Hub) in all its forms has been my life for the last 3 years. Ive put blood, sweat and tears and so much love into this mission I’ve held so deeply in my heart.
Since September when we experienced a miscarriage things have felt a little forced, all of this has felt like pressure to me. This kind of energy is not my ideal zone of creation, it’s shown me A LOT!
Something it’s really shown me is how when this all began it truly was a gift. I had come out of one of the hardest times in my life (my experience of post natal depression and anxiety) and I had found a way to share my experiences and join them with my coaching qualifications to support other mothers.
It was my hope to support those Mothers in knowing and choosing a new way for themselves in motherhood and life.
I write this now with tears running down my cheeks because as hard as I am on myself for not having this “business” where I felt it could have been by now. The Mothers lives I have had the opportunity of touching or impacting whether that be in a workshop, through coaching, in a circle, at a playground in conversation, through my writing on social media and blogs. The connections I’ve made, the friendships I’ve called in have come from my creation.
I haven’t allowed myself to really feel that… I’ve always been in the process of looking at what’s next, how I can impact and support mothers more and more and haven’t actually paused and taken a moment to see what I have created already on this path.
Sometimes we do that as humans, notice all our short falls and miss the reflection on all the moments of light in between. This experience has allowed me to flip that perspective.So I’m honouring myself right now. I’ve spent the last two weeks coming to this decision, feeling lost but knowing deep down it’s so right!
Letting go of this right now is forcing me to really connect to my true essence like never before. (Pretty timely considering I declared in December my purpose had evolved to connecting mothers deeply, to the deep knowing and remembering of their essence).
I’ve had to think who the F am I without all of this. Am I… the human and soul that I am, worthy of everything my heart desires without this purpose. And Of course I am (just in case you were hanging there.)
Something interesting though is that I have attached my success as a person to the success of my business. But a perceived idea of success.
What I hadn’t stopped to notice is that this all has been an incredible success, I have been blessed to be able to touch women’s lives and support them in creating change through empowerment. It’s not something I’ll overlook.
It doesn’t matter to me how many women or mothers that is now. I feel honoured even if it was one. What I’ve learnt in spreading my light in my life is that I always find deep fulfilment in my life when I follow the call of my soul.
Right now that call is re channeling my purpose into coming back to me, through physical, emotional and spiritual healing, not because I’m broken but because it’s time for me to focus on the foundation of me not to serve but for me.
And equally as important, my purpose is being re channeled into coming back to motherhood with a deeper presence, more play, more joy, more focus on the simple practices and rituals I get to bask in with Scarlett before she starts school next year.
You can continue to follow along on Instagram or Facebook if you want to. I’ll be sharing everything that brings me joy, writing, photos, real life, anything that’s on my heart really. And who knows maybe this space that my soul has been yearning for will create something magnificent that I feel so called to share.
I have no expectations, I’m committed to following my heart and soul ALWAYS.
I’ll have space for one or two personal coaching clients but as far as workshops, memberships and events go, my final event will be Redefining The Mother on the 5th of May. This is going to be a powerful workshop to go out on. I’m so excited for the mamas joining me already and looking forward to those who will be joining us. So if you haven’t had the chance to come along to a workshop with me then join me on the 5th!
If you have read this far Thank You! I couldn’t finish this piece of writing without saying how incredibly grateful I am for each and every person that has supported me along the way. A special thank you to my love Paul for EVERYTHING, to my daughter Scarlett for guiding me always, to the beautiful power house women who have supported me behind the scenes (I seriously couldn’t have done it without each of you), to my coach Stefanos who believed in this vision from the beginning and supported me in taking the leap in bringing it to life. Thank you to my family for your support even when you didn’t quite understand what it is I was doing. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY… to every single woman that invested in themselves by coming to a workshop, event or circle. For the women that chose me to support you personally. I’m so grateful for each of you, I have literally done a happy dance when each of you have bought a ticket to any event or sent in an application for coaching.
I know I’ll be back and I know this will all look different because I will be different. I’m letting go of the fear of missing out, I’m letting go of the idea of failure by not pushing through. I’m letting go of the pressure and coming back to my essence. So as sad as I am to say Goodbye to this chapter, I’m ready to really redefine the mother and the woman that I am (and that’s why I’m leaving with this workshop).
With Love and Gratitude,