Ok Mama, so you have 1 hour, maybe 30 minutes or 10 minutes to yourself… What do you do?
Often its filling that time with the endless tasks of Motherhood, am I right?! Well because they are actually endless. You catch up on the washing and the dirty clothes basket is almost full again, you mop the floor and within a few minutes there is another spill. There is always something you could be doing, even right now reading this I bet you could list off a whole bunch of stuff.
So often when we get those sacred moments to ourself all on our own we say to ourselves, “Oh I’ll just get this washing on and then I’ll have a cup of tea” or “Oh I’ll just get the house tidied up before the kids wake and then if they are still sleeping I’ll do that thing for myself.” Sometimes it gets so ridiculous that we have ignored the fact that we are thirsty for the past two hours to just get those things done until a hirsty (like hangry but thirsty) woman takes over our body and we are irritable only to stop and remember, the fact that we are still thirsty and just need to pause and have a drink of water! It can get that ridiculous. We are putting our human needs after the kids and the mundane tasks of life!
So this blog isn’t to say… Easy hack to feeling fulfilled as a mother, self care first! (Are you kidding me! Thanks for the revolutionary advice.) We cant expect ourselves as mothers and women to turn everything around and make a change like self care first whilst denying ourselves of the guilt and sense of failure it can bring up. It feels counter intuitive if our core beliefs around how a mother has to be and act do not align with it. To look at those beliefs, expectations and conditioning it can take a bit of work and is definitely something to do with some support around (maybe a more elaborate blog for another time) so what can you do right now…
- Let go of the idea that self care needs to look a certain way
Self Care is so ‘on trend’ sometimes I cant even deal with the amount of shit being pushed in my direction ; as a huge demographic for the self care industry – Mothers ( I mean who better to market to right!). But Self care doesn’t just have to just be taking a bath, getting a massage, getting a mani or pedi, having a cup of calm tea. It can also be taking a nap, hiring a cleaner, tidying up the living room to make your mind feel a little clearer, getting someone to wake up with the kids for a night, ordering take out instead of cooking, taking turns cooking with a friend so you get a break every other week, staring at the sky just because.
2. When you have some precious time to yourself do this one thing before you do anything else.
Place your hand on your heart and your womb if you feel like it & close your eyes for a few seconds. Now ask yourself, what do I need right now?
When you ask yourself this question your mind is going to try to answer it but I want you to pause and ask your body & Soul. (I know you’re probably thinking how the hell do I do that?!)
For me the biggest giveaway if my mind is answering the question or if my body or soul is answering the question is the way it’s answered and how it makes me feel.
What do I need right now?
Mind: Someone to just do my house work so I can stop feeling like my sole purpose in life is to be a maid!! (Its not direct, its telling a story and its victimising and makes me feel disempowered.)
Body & Soul: Time to be me ( Juicy! Stay with it and get curious)
How would you like to receive that? Spaciousness
How can you create that in this moment? Tidying up my living room so I can dance and be me.
OPEN YOUR EYES AND GET TO IT!!
If your answer comes back with something like the above (tidying up the living room) just remember that you dropped the need for self care to look a certain way -remember step 1. Because lets face it, sometimes doing that to make your mind feel less cluttered is what you need, sometimes getting the pile of folding thats been on your dining table for the last couple of weeks is what you need to feel accomplished AND sometimes what you need is to say FUCK IT! The never-ending tasks will be there and what I need right now is to do absolutely nothing with pure silence!
We as Mothers don’t necessarily need more self care or to make it more of a priority but instead bringing the practice into our life of connecting to ourself and remembering to meet our own needs… and sometimes that looks like #selfcare other times its a simple bloody glass of water!
Give it a go today, connect with yourself and make it a priority. Too often we forget that meeting our own needs and thriving is just as important in supporting our family to thrive.
Loads of Love