For the past 8 months I’ve told myself I’m tired. I’ve actually told myself a lot of ineffective things over the past 8 months but man have I been working on these. Postpartum brings up allll the shadow parts of me and my life it seems which has been a lot of work and also really beautiful and illuminating. It’s like every part of myself and my life that doesn’t align with the woman who is being rebirthed through birthing and raising my new baby are being shed to welcome in a new way of being. This new me.
This mindset shift around being tired really clicked for me since deciding not to sleep train my son. I have spent the last many months being tired and undecided whether I wanted to give it a go and feeling all the shoulds around it. I decided it was a no for me, after all thats what I felt in my body the whole time but I was so attached to needing something to fix the situation that this was the quick fix my mind had attached to even though it didn’t feel right for me right now. Don’t get me wrong, I have no judgement around sleep training if it works for you and your baby Im so for it. Its really how I feel about most things motherhood. We are all different, our babies are all different and we do not have to justify our decisions to anyone if it feels aligned and empowered for you then follow that! I stand for empowered mothers making choices to serve them, their babies and their families thats it! AND that choice or opinion of yours can change at any given moment without having to justify! Excuse the tangent Im pretty passionate about empowered mothers if you didn’t notice.
So basically where were we… Ah yes so I realised that a mindset and energy shift was where I really got to focus my attention.
After some practice and remembering from my first baby these are my Steps to Changing your Mindset as a Tired Mama
- Acknowledge that you are tired and allow yourself to be with it. Feel it in your body, let tears come if they need too, move your body, roll your shoulders, close your eyes. Say the words “I hear you”, take a deep breathe and then take the next steps.
- Make a Choice – Invite yourself to do something about it. Often there are two choices.
a.) Request support to have a nap or make it a priority to nap that day and commit fo it. Nothing else matters. – Note: Support can look different for everyone it may mean asking a friend or partner to watch your baby so you can have a long shower and possibly having left overs or ordering takeaway to have an early night, it may mean napping with the baby, maybe it’s surrendering and having a day in bed, or planning a sleep over somewhere to get a full night sleep that weekend (it’s amazing how having something to look forward to can give you a burst of energy and positivity).
b.) Or choose to move on and let it go. ( I recommend the first choice because we get to have support as mothers and ask for help but I understand that sometimes that help can’t happen in the moment but it can be arranged for later in the day, later that week etc. This is when choice number two comes into play. Let it go and move through – Remember THIS IS A CHOICE, you are not a victim. Tiredness is REAL but you can feel empowered in this choice and I really feel that is key when feeling so tired. The feeling of empowerment often comes after making arrangements or knowing when the next moment of reprieve is.).
3. Let go of the story that you are tired. Notice how often you are saying it to yourself and answering “how are you?” With “Good, Just tired”. What we focus on grows, so what are you choosing to focus on?
4. Find ways to support your body. I’ve been using Jing by superfeast (not sponsored or anything, I just genuinely love it and have noticed a difference when I use it), I mix the Jing in with my Ceremonial Cacao each morning. Make better choices with your food by having intention around supporting and nourishing your body. I know it’s easy to reach for refined carbs and sugar when you are tired but practicing to change the habit to having a cup of cacao, a delicious veggie filled meal, a super greens powder or a veggie juice. There are so many options but please if you have a moment of choosing something not as nourishing do not beat yourself up! You are human AND Nourishing choices support your body and mindset to get you off the wheel of poor me I’m tired, give me sugar and then crash again. All it takes is one choice to gain momentum and create change.
5. Move Your Body. We hear this all the time and I know you can feel too tired to move your body but even just a slow dance or stretch or a walk around your backyard. Let go of what moving your body should look like and honour it with ANY movement. If you know that something like a run or a circuit always makes you feel good when you are done even just committing to trying it for 10 mins and if you still aren’t feeling it then don’t continue but often the first ten minutes leads to more and we come out with those endorphins.
6. Don’t underestimate the power of Mother Nature, borrow some of her energy. Stand in the breeze and close your eyes, feel the strength of the wind and breathe in the air, long deep breathes, sit with your palms facing the sun and envision the sunshine warming and energising your body, like a warm light entering your body and moving through it. Jump in the ocean or even have a shower where you allow your head and whole body to be immersed and restore your energy body. Take off your shoes and walk on the dirt or grass, picture mama nature holding you and letting that energy move through your body. There is nothing like being held when we feel like we are doing so much of the holding and Mama Nature is sooo good at it.
I hope that by being devoted to some or all of these practices you can be with your tiredness in an empowered way.
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