From the moment we found out we were having a baby things changed… We were excited, scared and over the moon and we thought we knew what to expect but it turned out that we really had no idea.
We have our preconceived ideas of what being parents is like from what society shows us, from what our parents have shown us and until we are experiencing it nothing really can prepare us.
I can’t speak for my partner (as Im sure he was experiencing his own process throughout this whole experience, neither more difficult than the other),but as a mother the connection that grew between my baby and I became stronger and stronger, from the moment she entered this world I experienced a love stronger than anything, even stronger than the love I had for my partner and in all honesty that scared me a bit. I mean if I had a life or death situation who would I’d choose?… my baby of course! And thats heavy you know, especially because I know that my partner felt that. My baby needed me and as I claimed my new identity as a mother I needed her.
We knew those first few months could have the possibility of dad feeling a little left out and we tried to be conscious of that but the truth is that I was tired, sore and going through my own emotional and mental process. I all of a sudden was giving up most of my energy and body to this little love that needed me, by the time it came to connecting to my partner their was nothing left.
Over time as our baby needed me a little less and her dad was able to really build a relationship with her, things changed up again within the relationship, new challenges came about, things we hadn’t really faced from the new born period came to the surface and I was navigating through post natal depression. As you can imagine it wasn’t flowers and rainbows.
Long story short we had to rediscover our passion, our love and a new dynamic in our relationship all while I was rediscovering the woman I was transitioning into, mourning my old identity and finding my groove in life again in a whole different way.
I share this with you because since coaching Mothers I have realised that I am not alone in these feelings. That all relationships, if not most do really get tested when children come into the mix and that we don’t often talk about it openly and meaningfully.
There were many factors that supported us in moving through these times in our relationship and Im excited to be collaborating with Lindsay Bodhi (Sex & Relationship Coach) for a 3 hour workshop where we will be sharing these and so much more with you to equip you with the tools and knowledge in creating a more passionate and connected relationship with your partner.
Becoming parents was the catalyst to uncovering deep wounds and conditioning to how we showed up in our relationship which led us to redefining our relationship totally.
We are far from perfect and I’m sure still have plenty of learning to do as things come up and there are of course times that we are totally human and these tools get thrown out the window, although now we are quick to see it and use that awareness to diffuse the situation and choose to show up differently.
As we grow and evolve so does our relationship. What may have worked in the past might not, all of a sudden. We get to check in with each other and become aware of when to step back and change things up, check in to see if each other’s needs are being met and continue to rediscover who this person is over and over again that we have chosen to travel this journey of life with.
We owe it to ourselves to feel happy in our relationships and we owe it to our children in showing them what that looks like.
For those that may not be able to attend this workshop I want to leave you with a few things that I encourage you to look into to support you in creating a more passionate and connected relationship for you and your partner.
* Check out Lindsay Bodhi’s Website for some great tools and content around intimacy!
* Self Enquiry – Do the work on yourself, let go of blaming and ask yourself how you wish to show up in this relationship. Then go from there and uncover how you get to embody that within your relationship. It might take looking at some parts of yourself that are difficult but as you heal those parts of yourself and step into your greatest potential your relationship will transform.
* Communication is KEY – We are not mind readers!
* Make time to connect – Create space
* Get to know your partner, find out their love language and your own – check out my blog with the link here!
Their is so much more and these go a lot deeper so If you have any questions at all please feel free to contact me. Otherwise come along on the 20th of October to The Mothers & Lovers – Relationship Workshop for Mothers, Id love to have you there <3