Nurturing The Nurturer

Nurturing The Nurturer

You know that feeling we get when we are being totally cared for, like when you have your hair washed at the hair dresser, when you get a message, or even when you receive a healing session or anything along those lines. Their is a new found sense of appreciation in being nurtured once you are a mother. We spend so much of our time nurturing others.

Being nurtured is a beautiful act of self care and filling our cup but how can we do it everyday? We can’t all get a message daily necessarily, but we are surrounded by loved ones and our children are actually beautiful little nurturers (look at any toddler with a baby doll).

My three top tips for allowing yourself to be nurtured more as a mother.

  • Be open to receiving – move out of that masculine energy and embrace the feminine. (I wrote a blog about masculine and feminine energy in motherhood – check it out HERE) Let yourself be cared for, held, stroked and just all around loved by anyone willing to give it. If someone offers you a hug you welcome it with open arms, if you are offered anything be open to accepting it and feel the love! Often in the moments of feeling drained
  • Involve your children on a daily basis. Invite your children to give you a hug, ask them to stroke your hair while you lie down for a moment. Allow your children to Nurture you and if they are not in the mood take that moment to nurture yourself anyway.  – I recently experienced a beautiful workshop by Alecia Jade (a wonderful holistic health coach) and Gillian (founder of The Little yoga school) and during this workshop Gillian walked us through a couple of exercise where our children stroked our backs or played out a story that we told by drawing it on our back and another where we laid in the sun and our children stoked us, rubbed some beautiful oils on us and kissed our foreheads. You could see the absolute love and satisfaction our children experienced by looking after their Mummas. We had some relaxing music playing and all the children were whispering,  it was such a beautiful experience.
  • Differentiate between being touched as an act of recieving rather than only giving. We so often can get to the end of the day as mothers and feel completely touched out. The last thing we can think of doing is being intimate or hugging our partner especially after a day with a clingy child. I have found a great way of reframing this circumstance. I switch my mindset from giving to receiving. I take a few moments to re centre either by having a shower or just taking a few deep breathes on my own. I then approach my partner with a completely different context and I have noticed by coming to him with a different energy he is able to step in to his masculine energy hold me and nurture me. We have gotten to the point now that words don’t even have to be spoken and he just knows I could use a big giving hug. I remind myself to completely surrender and receive every ounce of love in that hug and I normally let out a big deep breathe.

And of course it all starts with finding ways to nurture yourself for yourself in your life as well. Committing to acts of self care that are a commitment to your worth and love for yourself. Ultimately this is the key to feeling more loved and nurtured in your life.

The best thing about this act is not only how we get to feel but also the feelings we get to witness from the people who get to nurture us by just simply letting go and allowing them to.

There is something that’s just so beautiful about experiencing acts of care and love from those that we give so much love to every single day. Give it a go!

Lots of Love

Estelle xx

We Create our Resistance

I didn’t even know what I was going to write in this blog post but I was inspired to write it. I feel like crying for an unbeknown reason and Im just so unsure about so much at the moment but I’m also not. You see Im resisting what is…

 

Im feeling the emotions that are coming to the surface in my body and my mind tries to logically form an explanation for them, I analyse the emotion and whats happening in my life and then come to the conclusion of… “well this doesn’t make any sense! I shouldn’t be feeling like this! I should be grateful and inspired and motivated and bla bla bla…”

 

And there it is! The resistance.

 

My beautiful partner said to me as I cried in his arms, “what would you tell yourself if you were one of your clients right now?” I cried harder and said “its not that simple!”

 

But really it is. So this blog right here is to remind myself and anyone else that might be feeling like utter crap and just can’t put their finger on it, that you are exactly where you are suppose to be. My intuition tells me its a shift, my intuition tells me to trust and surrender, to feel the emotions and let go of the need to analyse them, my body is creating the capacity to shift and welcome something new or something in a different light and my body or vessel is the container for that!

 

Pretty powerful stuff Right! and then I thought so what do I need to do? But its not about doing anything. Its about Being with it all so beautifully and imperfectly. Tuning into my soul and intuition and then being from there.

 

I get to ask myself powerful questions instead of questions out of fear. Questions like, What is this teaching me right now? How can I show up for me right now? Who do I want to be in this moment?

 

Instead of the, why is this happening to me? Why am I feeling like this? Why is no one helping me? … Sound Familiar?? I know they were once my go to questions?

 

And the beauty of asking the powerful questions is not being attached to the answer, sometimes the answer isn’t ready to present itself and thats ok. This is where we get to surrender and trust that everything is happening as it should be.

 

Sending you a butt load of love and a little bit more!

lets remind ourselves to…

 

TRUST – SURRENDER – LOVE

 

 

I will be holding a workshop on the 22nd of April in East Victoria Park, 10:30am to 11:30 or 12 if you would like to stay around for a chat!

Tickets are $15 and we will be delving into Moving through Overwhelm Powerfully. You will come away feeling empowered to face overwhelming times in your life – which lets face it is quite common in motherhood. With tools and mindset techniques to make overwhelm your bitch for lack of a better term.

For further details click here

 

Lots of Love

Estelle xx

 

Beautiful photo by Melanie at Lion Fox & Co

Is Your Masculine Ruling You in Motherhood? – 5 Tips to Allowing Your Feminine to Take The Lead!

Masculine and Feminine Energy both have their places in many different areas of our life and by tuning into these energies and having awareness we are able to use these to our benefit. It is not about which one is better than the other but more so finding the balance between the two and understanding how you can shift and change between both to suite your lifestyle.
Before I get into how this has anything to do with motherhood I think its important to understand what determines Masculine and Feminine Energy very briefly.
Masculine Energy
– Single focused
– Doing
– Logical
– Strategic
– Physical
– Providing/giving
Feminine Energy
– Intuition
– Softness
– Seeing more than what meets the eye
– Receiving
– Being rather than Doing
– Letting Go
– Being in Flow
Now I can guess that you are most likely identifying  with many of the masculine traits and possibly a few of the feminine traits, although most mothers I work with are highly tuned into their masculine energy. Why wouldn’t we be?  As women in this day and age it is becoming more common for women to step into a masculine role in their lives with the whole “I don’t need no man, I’m capable of everything”, mantra and please know that I’m all for empowered women and equal rights for women most definitely. As a result of this conditioning within society I feel we as women and mothers are becoming more detached from our feminine energy and almost finding it difficult to be with that energy.
This can come out in many ways as a Mother, you may find yourself constantly busy, never having enough time, always doing something and maybe even feeling un easy when you aren’t busy. You could even find yourself being controlling, having trouble letting go and also having the mentality of “my way is the best way, there for the only way”. You struggle with being fully present especially with your children and you often question yourself, you give and give until burn out and you struggle receiving help from anyone. You feel at ease when everything is scheduled and routine is life! (Please know that this is an extreme case and that you may not identify with all these areas. There is also other factors that contribute to these experiences as a mother.)
Sitting in this highly masculine energy without much presence of the feminine energy to balance it out can leave you in meltdown mode when things don’t go to plan, feeling somewhat lost and out of touch (especially if we are not making time for self care), often leading to comparison, self criticism, getting stuck in your head and detaching from the feminine even more.
 
Now don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying we “shouldn’t”  have schedules and plan or be productive, Im just explaining what it can look like when the masculine is taking far to much of the lead in your life.  So what can you do about it? Below are my top 5 tips to getting back in touch with your feminine as a mother.
1. Surrender – Things never go to plan (especially with children) practicing the surrender to what is and knowing that its all perfect. Surrendering to your expectations as well and asking for help or support.
2. Intuition  – trust that gut feeling, letting go of the need for validation and always going straight to asking what another mother is doing. Play around with the idea that you already know exactly what your child needs and exactly what you need.
3. Open to Receiving – In all areas of your life including intimacy, help/support, gifts, love, abundance. This is a beautiful way of being to play with and can sometimes be challenging to begin with, its also really freeing when you realise you have everything you need when you are open to it.
4. Taking time to fill your cup and literally just be – true self care, not the surface stuff, the connecting to your soul or nature kind of self care – this is where you can use your masculine energy to plan out your self care time for the week and commit to it!
5. Presence and Mindfulness, being in the Flow – This is great to practice being fully present with your child, letting them show you the way by playing in the wonder of it all. Focusing on your senses, what are you seeing and feeling (both through touch and emotion), what are you hearing, what can you smell (that unique smell when you nuzzle your nose into your childs head and kiss it) and taste (if its relevant). Don’t forget to take a deep breathe and take it all in.
We have many roles as mothers and sometimes its quite effective to let our masculine energy take the lead in certain areas of our life for example when we step into our working role so I want to leave you with is an amazing tool introduced to me by Katie Lynnwhich is a transition period between masculine dominant roles and feminine dominant roles. By introducing a transition ritual (if you want to call it that), whether that be 2 minutes of deep breathing, having a shower, doing a dance, whatever it may be to allow you to let go of the masculine energy and step back into the feminine. This can be really helpful before you pick up your children from school or whenever  you get to put your mum role hat back on.
Motherhood is the epitome of Divine Feminine Energy and by connecting back to that you may find your #mumlife to flow with more ease and grace – And who doesnt want that! (Hello Zen AF Mumma)

If you would like some support to go deeper into stepping into your power as a woman (while being an amazing Mumma) take a look at my one on one coaching program.

This blog was inspired by my journey of getting in touch with my feminine energy which included a transformational course through Monique Benabou an amazing artist (singer) and coach.

Why Letting Go of Micromanaging can be SO Empowering!

Micromanaging is very easy to fall into as a mother.

This is something I had to come to terms with when my baby started day care or started regularly visiting family or even being left with her dad. I felt the need to explain A to Z of what she likes and how she likes it and how to do everything for her (More than just the necessary hand over stuff). After all I had spent months getting to know my baby and finding the best way to meet her needs, that’s what a large chunk of my life became about. I just got her!! 💁🏻.

I came to the realisation that by me micromanaging the needs of my daughter, I took away the power of the person I was trusting her with. I took away the power of my baby learning to express what she needs and I took away the beautiful connection that could be formed between both her and the person looking after her, that they get to create together as they learn about one another.

It was hard to let go but I practiced each time and now I see the little routines she has with different people, the new things she has tried and the new ways she gets to communicate and love and be. I see the relationships that have blossomed with our loved ones and the relationship between her and her dad. I see him confidently leading her being an amazing father and it was me letting go that really showed the trust I had in him to be the best dad he can.

Sometimes you just have to trust everything will be ok because having to let go as a mother is sooo tough but you teach your little people independence and show them that you trust in them and that they can trust in themselves. – Of course it’s also vital that you know that the people you leave your children with have the child’s best interests and well being at hear.

But knowing that my baby will be ok if I couldn’t be around for some time just makes my heart at peace. I know that every moment away a little piece of us is missing as a mother but we do it for them and we do it for us, so we both get to grow and learn how to be in new ways because that’s what life is about.

So if you are feeling uneasy about letting go and putting your child into someone else’s hands, I get it! It’s extremely difficult. But I encourage you to remember that when it comes to our precious little ones we at times get to learn that a decision needs to be about them, we learn to put our fears aside for the long term growth and well-being of our little ones. And that’s the art of letting go and trusting in the good of the universe. Something I think will never be easy and will always be something to check in with for yourself.

It all comes down to the question “Is this decision being made from a place of love or fear?”

Estelle xx

If you are looking for some support around learning to let go a little more in your life as a mum. Contact me and I’d be happy to help 🙏🏼💕